Roughing the Passer

"Though I initially called a roughing-the-passer penalty, I am overruling my decision. When defensive end number 97 launched his attack on the quarterback, number 7, the quarterback still had the ball. But the JumboTron clearly shows that number 97's head turned in the direction of the cheerleaders, and number 97 was therefore unable to concentrate fully on the play. The cheerleaders prevented number 97 from knowing that the quarterback had ridded himself of the ball long before number 97 ran into him. The cheerleaders represent an attractive nuisance, and, since they are cheering for the quarterback's team, the offense is responsible. The defendant, in this case, confusingly, the offense, knew or should have known that showcasing cheerleaders, especially in such revealing outfits (see exhibits T and A), would prove to be a reasonable risk of attraction and harm. The cheerleaders are found to be peculiarly or unusually attractive. Therefore, the criteria of an attractive nuisance have been met. As stated earlier, my decision has been overturned. Fourth down. "

From Referree Ed Hochuli's More Notable Calls. By Frank Ferri, courtesy McSweeny's Internet Tendency